Sometimes, there are people who are just plain bitter, disrespectful, arrogant, deceitful and distasteful for no reason. Well somehow, fate decided that it was my turn to be tested by two such personalities in less than a month’s time span. Really, I am just floored at the clear audacity of people and the things they allow themselves to spew without really even knowing you. I wonder what makes a person like that tick? What awful things have happened in their lives that have shaped such a personality? Is there mental illness at play here? What about low self-esteem issues? Hmmm, perhaps it is just an evil soul encased in flesh. Whatever the cause, it is absolutely and ridiculously unwarranted. There is no excuse for such behavior and believe me when I say, I don’t mess with anyone, but if you try me, you will meet the other side of me and it won’t be pretty. Please don’t allow my kind personality, greeting and smile fool you. As much as I hate to go there, I can and have no problem treating mean, ugly people accordingly. I am a Phoenix and I will unleash this heat on you and then kindly blow away your ashes with a polite smile like a gentle breeze. I’m kind, but please… DO NOT TEST ME!
Sorry folks, I began writing this 2 years ago and just realized that it has remained in my drafts file and never published. How horrible! Well…although late, here is this past blog that was not posted…
Did I ever tell you how awesome my husband is to me? I am so glad that I married my best friend, a great caretaker, a provider, supporter of my dreams, sensitive heart, listening ear and the world’s greatest dad alive! I can’t begin to put into words what he means to me and anything that I could possibly write would never sum up this man in his entirety. We have our ups and downs, but honestly, I can’t trade him for anything. He puts up with me and vice versa.
I feel so loved and I know that our son is loved. He is extremely protective of him and trusts no one around him. (Even to a point of being ridiculous.) I can’t wait until the baby is older and we can begin to do lots of fun family things with him. Right now, I’m tired from being up in the middle of the night to nurse our 8 month old, but I needed to post this about how awesome my husband makes me feel these days. Hopefully, I’ll talk to you again soon!
Last year, I went to an Indian Fashion event where they were selling clothes and jewelry at reduced prices as a promotion. I purchased three very nice saris for under $100! I was quite pleased because many of the decent looking saris that I find in America tend to be quite pricey at many of the stores. Well, when I bought the saris, I was five months pregnant, so I didn’t have my seamstress to make the dresses for me until six months after my son’s birth. I already had about four saris and seven or eight salwar kameez or chuddidars, so I wanted to have some more saris to add to my collection. We are planning a trip to India next year to visit my in-laws, so I want to have my wardrobe ready. Well, at least I thought I did, because my husband just told me that I needed to pack as few clothes as possible because I can get as much Indian attire as I want or need while I am there and it will be at cheap prices. OMG, that is awesome because it means that I will have plenty of room in my suitcase to bring back new clothes! We also plan to purchase a new mangalsutra for me when I get there. I have one that was bought in the USA, but it doesn’t look like an Indian one. It simply looks like a regular, cute fashion necklace. For those of you who don’t know, a mangalsutra is a woman’s wedding chain. It is the equivalent of a wedding ring.
I plan to also get some attire for my son since we haven’t gotten him any Indian clothes yet. I won’t get him much since he is still a baby and will grow out of everything quickly, but I will maybe get a couple of Indian outfits for him so that we can use them for family photos. Speaking of family photos, my brother-in-law plans to bring his wife and son to India at the same time that we arrive so that everyone is there at the same time. This will be such a great little reunion! I can’t wait to learn all that I can about Indian cooking and recipes from my mother-in-law. She also wants to teach me embroidery, painting and other things that she did for my husband as a child, like making some of his favorite dishes. Our trip is just six months away and I am so excited about it, especially the fact that everyone will be meeting our son for the first time. I will be sure to take plenty of pictures!
Ok, I suck at updating my blog and I am wondering if I should delete it at this point because my life has become so hectic that I barely come to update it although my intentions have been good. I have so much that should be shared with all of you, both joys and sorrows, triumphs and defeats, surprises and obvious life changes, decisions, career ventures, and much more, but I’ve been a tad overwhelmed with the amount of work that is on my plate. I have been trying to write a book, I’m a new mom of an infant, I am a wife, I work and I am in the process of launching my own chemical-free natural hair and skin product line.
Some days, I feel that everything I do is too much, but there are other days that I know that all of my hard work, frustration, sacrifices and determination will all pay off. Oh, did I mention that I am also working on a career field change and pursuing my Masters Degree on top of all of that? Yeah, I must be insane. HA!
I know that I may be a bit biased, but I have the absolute best kid ever! He is such a mellow baby and he doesn’t complain much unless he is not feeling well, and even that complaint is minimal. He brings us so much joy that it is beyond description. Do you have kids? If so, share some of the ways that your little one brings happiness into your life. I’d love to read your stories!
I’ll let the images speak for themselves. We had a WONDERFUL time! There were at least 45 guests present at our baby shower celebration and it was wonderful to have family and friends come from all over to be there! The menu was South India meets Southern Soul Food, a take on both of our heritages, and every dish was absolutely divine! My two shower hostesses had really outdone themselves and the event was planned beautifully. (Sorry that I had to blur so much of the invitation details, but privacy prevails people! LOL) People came from all over! We had guests from Pennsylvania, New York, Connecticut, Memphis, TN, California, Maryland, Washington, DC, North Carolina, Illinois, Florida and india!
We feel SO blessed!
I am so excited to meet this little guy that I can hardly contain myself!
We found out that we will be welcoming home a baby boy during our 20 weeks gestation ultrasound scan. My husband was elated. There are no words to completely describe the joy on his face. Although I was rooting for team pink, he completely deserves to get his wish for team blue. He is an awesome husband to me and I know that he will be an incredible dad. I am sorry for taking so long to get these updates out. Life has been crazy!
We’re expecting a little Blindian bundle of joy soon! Yes, you read right (in case you didn’t catch my 30 second post back in August)…and I am ashamed to say that the baby is due in just a mere 8.5 weeks from now! I am sorry for taking so long to post on this blog. So, now that the cat is out of the bag, can you go easy on me? I have been so exhausted that I haven’t felt like writing to update on my life very much. I am going to try and catch up on these next couple of posts, so hopefully I can make up for the lost gaps in time. Maybe you can find it in your heart to forgive me after that. LOL!
Well, first off, I must say that my husband has truly been my champion of champions during this entire process. He has waited on me hand and foot, made sure that I have everything I need, has not missed a single prenatal visit, and has gone above and beyond my wildest expectations to make sure that I am not stressed and that everything goes smoothly. In the beginning, he worried about EVERY little thing, but I can’t say that I blame him because we suffered 2 painful miscarriages last year, so we were walking on eggshells there for a while. It is really tough to go through something like that and then be blessed with another pregnancy only to be afraid to share the good news with all of your loved ones for fear of jinxing it. Although I didn’t blog for a while, I did find enough energy to post the good news to my family on Facebook with the image above. I was exactly 3 months along (12 weeks) on July 4, 2012 and it was finally a good feeling to be able to tell people although we were still holding our breaths and not fully exhaling just yet. You know, just in case…I think my husband and I were both praying that we had not jumped the gun.
Once we hit that 3 month mark, it seemed like the other milestones began to roll on by. We made it to 4 months, then 5, then 6, and now 7 has sealed the deal. I was not getting my hopes up that this pregnancy would survive until I at least made it past the 5 month mark, and then into 6 months it was before I began to feel at ease. The survival rate increases as you go along, so when I reached 6 months, I allowed myself to lay some of my fears to rest. With each appointment, the doctors had only good things to say and we left with a glowing report of a healthy baby after each month’s visit. I was quite surprised that during this entire pregnancy, I have not had any problems with blood pressure, weight gain, or morning sickness! Although I did have some major cravings and food aversions in the 1st trimester, I definitely made up for it by the 5th month. I began to hate the foods that were normally my favorites and I began to love the foods that I once loathed!
I have had a great pregnancy, but I must admit that I’ve had my ailments. I was diagnosed with something called “Pregnancy Induced Asthma.” I have never heard of such a thing in my life, but I guess it makes sense if women can also get pregnancy induced diabetes and pregnancy induced hypertension while pregnant. While it may suck to have it, the good news is that it goes away after the baby is born. I was also lucky enough to develop “Pubic Symphysis Separation” during my 5th month and it landed me permanently working from home until the baby is born because I can’t walk very much or very well. This is a condition caused by the separation of the cartilage that usually hold the pelvic bones together. When a woman is pregnant, her body releases all sorts of hormones which cause her to swell (hence my asthma – the lung tissues became inflamed) and also cause her joints, ligaments, and tendons to loosen in preparation for childbirth (hence my pubic symphysis condition). My pelvic bones began to separate a bit early as women who get this normally don’t see it until the last trimester. It is very painful to walk most days and I have trouble lifting my legs, putting on socks and wearing pants without help. We often take for granted the little things until we are no longer able to perform them. My wonderful hero of a husband helps to put on my socks, pants and shoes. I really do love him. You know why? Because he absolutely ROCKS!
I have learned a lot in these past few years since entering a Blindian relationship, well marriage rather, in 2007. The day that my husband proposed was a dream…literally, it was at 2:00 a.m. and I was in the bed half asleep. I find myself laughing at that now, because you have no idea the humor behind that moment. Even to this day, if you ask both of us who proposed, we’ll point to one another. He swears it was me, I swear it was him, but who cares? We got it done, and that’s another story. I may decide to blog about it on a whim one day. Anyway, back to my initial thought…
Now, I know some of you must be wondering, “What in the world is a Blindian relationship?” I’ll tell you exactly what it is. A Blindian relationship is an interracial and intercultural marriage between a Black or African-American or person of African descent and a person from India or of Indian descent. So, for our math majors out there, the equation would be: Black + Indian = Blindian. We have found that our life will never be dull as long as there are cultural differences. While we have wholeheartedly embraced one another’s beliefs, cultures, race, and everything else that makes us “us,” there are days when we have our intense conversations, trying to get one another to understand the logic behind a certain aspect of the other’s culture. We have our funny moments, our intense moments, our OMG moments and our can’t live without you moments, but what couple doesn’t?
Many times when we are out, we get stares because people are trying to figure us out. “What race is he? Is she with him? Is she from another country too? Are they a couple? Dear God, they just CAN’T be married!” Yes, we get all of those looks and take them in stride because people are both ignorant and entitled to their opinions. We don’t mind. We simply view ourselves as a walking educational billboard teaching people that love is colorblind. I think that we get the most stares from people of the Indian community more so that the Black or African -American community. I had one lady from Delhi walk right up to me and ask if I was his side mistress once. My husband reacted harshly with her and told her that I am his wife and that as an elder, she should know better than to insult someone’s family without reason. She scoffed at us both, mumbled something in her language and walked away. I stared in shock and began to laugh. I had never seen my husband display such emotion in public. He is usually the cool, calm and collected guy, while I, on the other hand, am quick to pull out the claws and show my fangs. It’s funny to him now, but not so much then. I felt much better when I found out that a friend who is in a Blindian relationship experienced the same thing!
We also get very kind people who question us out of sincere curiosity and amazement of our union. There are times when we both feel like local celebrities in some places! I can only imagine the mix of thoughts, stares, comments and questions we will receive in India! In any case, we’ve never allowed others or their difference of opinion matter to us and we plan to live our lives enjoying one another. If you have questions about us, feel free to ask!
My husband and I are expecting our first child. I am 39 and he is 42. WHAT ON EARTH WAS I THINKING?! I must admit, this is for a much younger woman and I fear the worst as far as the “snapback factor” or lack thereof once this kid is born. You know, that elasticity of the skin which youth carry and it diminishes with age? I wonder if my belly will have loads of excess skin as if I am a gastric bypass patient after delivery…will my vajayjay even look normal? While many of my girlfriends try to be reassuring that things will go back in place, they fail to realize that they were much younger than I am now when they had their kids. Easy for them to say, but I feel no better about this. Will I have so much excess skin that not only can I donate some to burn victims, but use it as a chest protector by pulling it up over my breasts and taping it to my shoulders?
Now, I must admit, I was not a skinny woman before all of this, so I can only let my imagination run wild with frightening speculation. Are there any 39 and older women out there who had babies and looked normal after birth? I am not talking about people like Halle Berry, she is not a real person like us. Human bodies are incapable of doing that, so she must be from Saturn. LOL! Please do share you experiences so I can feel better or perhaps indulge my senses in your agony. Either way, I am sure that it will be quite entertaining! 🙂